In January I talked about my decision to try going off of my meds. I stopped taking Buspar and Bupropion in February (I’m still taking Ritalin and Gabapentin). I’ve noticed my baseline level of upbeatness is a little lower, mostly replaced by fatigue (thanks, fibro) but otherwise I feel normal. There have been a few times when I have been in an anxiety spiral and used my meds to bring me back to a place of calm so I could work through it. I’ve been more intentional about taking care of myself: taking breaks to stretch, adding some fizzy vitamins to my water, practing breathing excersizes, going on walks when it’s nice out.
I’ve had some big ups and downs over the last month that have sent me reeling and I’m happy with how I’ve been able to handle those. Overall I feel much calmer because I’m not stressed out about getting my medications renewed and I’m still maintaining emotional stability.
Some of the concrete things I’ve been doing:
- Trying some gentle stretches from Dr. Sam Z on tiktok every day and it’s really rude how well they work
- Making some kind of art a few times a week (video, drawing, painting, crocheting, whatever)
- Noticing when I’m having feelings and then proceeding to make space instead of ignoring them
- Drinking at least one cup of herbal tea that helps with gut stuff (ginger & tumeric is magic for me, apparently) every day
- Remembering to eat before 3pm
- Getting a little fresh air every day even if it’s just standing on the balcony for a few minutes
- Letting myself have a little treat regularly (eating ALL the strawberries, getting a yoga mat and laundy basket, making a mocha instead of drinking coffe black, going to the sauna)
- Trying New things — starting a tiktok, going to a writers group, currently contemplating learning Unreal 5….
I can catch the little tendrils of depression and anxiety when they crop up and sit with them and make them feel better instead of being dragged into their depths. I really want to reiterate that I wouldn’t be here without years of medication and therapy and learning to be as loving and accepting to myself as I am to other people. But I’m happy and proud of myself for getting to this point. 🙂