Category: Personal

  • Thirty-Three

    Thirty-Three

    I went to Lisbon for my birthday and saw where my great-grandparents immigrated from. Their building (not pictured) is still standing (or another building stands in its exact place, still full of residents). They lived on a hill in a neighborhood not unlike many in San Francisco. Away from the tourist areas on the water.…

  • 37c3

    37c3

    My partner has been telling me about Chaos Communication Congress since we met. This year, we were finally able to go. Some other friends from KDE also managed to get tickets so we put an assembly together. We (collectively) thought it would be fun to have a low-key performance art project so we packed up…

  • ich spreche bisschen deutsch (I speak a little German)

    ich spreche bisschen deutsch (I speak a little German)

    Last month I finished my first deutschkurse with the Humboldt Institute. I feel much better about my ability to understand German in situations outside of checking out at the grocery store or apotheke which is nice. My eaves dropping skills have gained +10. I still freeze up when I need to reply in German but…

  • 14 year old rage

    14 year old rage

    I have been sitting uncomfortably with my anger. I’m at the point of my healing/processing cycle where I get to revisit this feeling again. As a child I was never truly allowed to express anger, it was an emotion that wasn’t “cheerful obedience” and therefore wrong. It often circles back to me in the autumn.…

  • Self Employed? Moving to Germany? Choose 1.

    Self Employed? Moving to Germany? Choose 1.

    Germany is great. Living in an actual society is great. Not being worried about being bankrupted by a hospital visit is great. Being able to grocery shop or exist in public without fear of being gunned down randomly is fucking amazing. Unfortunately there’s a huge caveat if you are self-employed. You won’t get to live…

  • Travelougue 2023

    Travelougue 2023

    My life has been a whirlwind of travel since June. I’ve been home for three weeks and I feel like I’m just now starting to regain my footing and be fully recovered from the travel-lag. I was in the US for three weeks in June, home for about a week and a half before going…

  • I’m a Brompton Boi Now

    I’m a Brompton Boi Now

    Fibro has more or less relegated me to my neighborhood because going everywhere on foot or waiting for transit with heavy bags from running errands is incredibly exhausting. Transit is frequent and reliable but not particularly fast, which is fine. The first two make me happy enough, but the last one has made feeling motivated…

  • 8 weeks off (some) meds

    8 weeks off (some) meds

    In January I talked about my decision to try going off of my meds. I stopped taking Buspar and Bupropion in February (I’m still taking Ritalin and Gabapentin). I’ve noticed my baseline level of upbeatness is a little lower, mostly replaced by fatigue (thanks, fibro) but otherwise I feel normal. There have been a few…

  • The Curse of Living Every Day Like It’s Your Last

    The Curse of Living Every Day Like It’s Your Last

    In the family I grew up in there were two common, somewhat dissonant but simultaneously applied themes. 1) Don’t live like you belong in the default world because your true home is in Heaven, living on earth is really just a temporary state and 2) live every day like it’s your last and be prepared…

  • Wants Are Good Too

    Wants Are Good Too

    I am actively choosing to prioritize myself and my health. Not just in the not-dying sense, but in the this-would-make-my-daily-life-easier sense. I’ve been working on this for years and progress is slow. It’s hard. There’s a voice in my head that’s extremely loud that tells me “you don’t really need that” anytime I think about…