Tag: anxiety
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8 weeks off (some) meds
In January I talked about my decision to try going off of my meds. I stopped taking Buspar and Bupropion in February (I’m still taking Ritalin and Gabapentin). I’ve noticed my baseline level of upbeatness is a little lower, mostly replaced by fatigue (thanks, fibro) but otherwise I feel normal. There have been a few…
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Nature (Trauma) is Healing
I’ve been experiencing a lot of headaches trying to do basic things like get my brain meds filled in Germany. There are rules like only certain types of general doctors can prescribe anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications, only certain kinds of doctors can prescribe testosterone, and of course only psychiatrists can prescribe ADHD meds. On top…
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COVID Log 3
Things haven’t gotten any easier in the last month. Every week feels like at least a decade, and I’ve been dealing with blow after blow, just trying to roll with the punches. But I am exhausted. I tried to take a Quarancation last week but it didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. A…
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Not okay
I’ve started and stopped more posts than I can remember in the last month since COVID19 ate everything. I’m trying to find humor and light to what feels like my religious upbringings’ flavor of tribulation coming to pass in real time. I can’t. I’m not going to try anymore. Today I am angry and hurting…
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Semester No. 5
My semester begins tomorrow. I’m very anxious. My body has been tense all day…all week, really. I’m not anxious about my classes – I’ve re-evaluated them thrice now and I’ve taken my health and spoons into account so I’m only doing one in-person class (US Government), and two online classes (English 5, and Cultural Geography)…
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Undo.
Sometimes I wish for an undo button, not because of regret but because I’m afraid. I applied to a job doing IT support and now I’m anxious about it. What if they hire me? (Like I’m not the one with ultimate say?) How will my life change? Before applying it seemed like getting a job…
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Cryptic nuggets
I should do so many things. I should write more about sexism and gaming. I should make that ruby app I’ve been planning. I should reboot KieryGeek. I should be better at marketing my patreons. I should be brave and find my voice and use it. I should be more friendly. I should not feel…
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waning
It’s been a rough week and I think at the back of my mind I’m worried that maybe my new meds aren’t going to work, or aren’t working (I’ve only been on the new dose 4 days, so). My shoulders are massively fucked at the moment, shocked the massage person who said it was really…
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New Meds Muse: Zoloft
I’ve been taking the full-dose of Zoloft (currently 50mg a day) for about a week now. I was going strong until I got stressed out on Friday, and then everything just kinda has been a haze of anxiety. I was super focused and creative and fucking fantastic for a week…excusing the bouts of nausea/dizziness and…
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Kiery's Stages of Getting Help
1) Meh, this is probably not anything. I can deal with it, everyone else is probably the same way. 2) I deserve this, I shouldn’t fix it, it’s just part of me and most likely my fault (thanks bad theology for roping yourself into the worst places) 3) That’s bullshit, no one deserves to live…