I realized earlier today, that I think the reason I enjoy food significantly less than everyone else is because I have no real emotional connection to it. I eat food because I have to as my body dislikes starvation. While I appreciate good food, and I have a handful of foods that I will be very happy if you serve me (dark chocolate, pizza, and mac & cheese) I don’t enjoy it like everyone else I know seems to. I wonder if it’s because food and I are less emotionally connected and if that’s part of the reason I only eat when I’m hungry and (generally) don’t eat more than I need to. I don’t eat for non-hunger reasons (like boredom or sadness or happiness) with the exception of being held captive by hormones that send me into a depressed and munchie ravage.
So today, I did something that I really don’t enjoy.
Finding recipes. I dread it and try to avoid it as much as possible usually, but something else hit me today.
I’m doing this because I think I’m worth it, and no one else can do this for me.
I want to eat healthier and cook healthier not because I’m a good wife, or I enjoy the process of making a good meal for my husband, because honestly, I don’t. I
hate loathe the process and I have no satisfaction in cooking at all (thankfully my good-wifey-ness isn’t subject to my kitchen performances); but I finally think that I’m worth the effort, as much as I might hate the process.
So jumping into the annoying finding-recipes-and-making-lists quest I was able to write down some interesting bits of information I found from the encyclopedia, and hit with a little bit of genius, I came up with something to potentially solve the ever frustrating problem of not knowing what to do with leftover produce (you know, before it turns into goo).
I’m coming to the scary realization that taking this healthy eating thing on for myself means I need to actually put effort into finding food and using it and maybe even doing more cooking (sad). So if I can streamline some of that process to limit the amount of “I don’t know what to do with it” coma’s that I inevitably fall into, that might help me feel better about getting foods that expire in a week.
In the meantime, I’ll keep reminding myself that me and my health are worth the uh, torture of potential meal planning…and I’ll keep switching between Spongebob and MSNBC while I’m at it, because that seems to help.