Rants with Kiery

1) Wow. the degree with which people will fight for their “right” to hit children, in the name of “it’s better” “it’s discipline” “what else are you going to do?”. That hitting is the first place we jump to, to deal with people who are helpless, people who exist because their parents decided they WANTED THEM, and then decided to beat them, because they think they have a right to. I just don’t even. And people think violence comes from video games. Try generations and generations of parents beating their children, training them via violence, seriously, is it any wonder? Violence has been around long before video games, long before Pong, and will continue to be around, especially if we keep affirming the right of the parent to beat the person they’re supposed to love, and to devalue their autonomy and humanity.
If you’re parenting this way, you’re continuing the cycle. If your reaction EVER is to hit your child, you’ve already failed.
2) Time Magazine’s cover about the Childfree life apparently pissed off some people. And this brings me to my WTF JUST LET ME FUCKING LIVE OKAY? moment. I made the mistake of watching a Fox News interview about it yesterday, which was just depressing, because, even among the “advocate” of the child-free lifestyle, us adults who choose not to have kids are seen as either incapable, inhumane, or selfish – or a combination of them all. Which, quite frankly, I find offensive. The desire for people to actually enjoy life – and their definition of that includes not having kids is scoffed at, at best, and makes me shut down at worst.
So I’d like to take this moment to talk about it.
I’m Kierstyn. I’m 22. I’ve been married 4 years. I’m not having kids even though I’m in a committed relationship. Surprisingly enough, though I have refused to join this “highest calling” (those of you from über conservativism/christianity will get that), I lead an incredibly fulling life. I choose to enjoy life, but that doesn’t mean I’m lazy. I put my energies into creating things, into speaking out against abuse, and into trying to make the world a better place. I can do this without having children, honestly, I can do this better without having spawn to raise. Because I don’t have to be responsible for more than my pet, I can actually do the things that I care about, that I am passionate about, without hindrance.
So next time you want to jump on the all-child-free-adults-are-selfish-train, maybe talk to some of us first.
You know, unless you really believe that pursuing your passions, making art, and speaking out against abuse are completely selfish things to do, and mean you have no humanity.
Gee, thanks, parents. *

*I’ve only been able to read one page of the article because I don’t want to pay $5 to read one more page – most of what I’m reacting to is the interview and the bit about what to expect when no one’s expecting. I’m really tired of being judged for not reproducing. it’s my goddamn uterus, leave it the fuck alone.

I don’t care how concerned you are about anyone – threatening them, intimidating them, berating them, and disrespecting their boundaries, is never okay. Ever ever ever.
If someone says “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this” don’t push them to talk about it. If someone says something you disagree with, don’t EVER come back with “you’re becoming one of those people who should be shot for the good of society”.
Abusive behavior is abusive, and regardless of your intent, it. is. never. okay. and you immediately become an unsafe person.


  1. Sophie Avatar

    You raised children already. You just did it before you were eightteen. For people to expect you to have children now would be to take away your adult life as well as your childhood.

    1. Sarah Avatar

      Good point, Sophie.

  2. Sarah Avatar

    Re: #1 — I heard a snippet of a broadcast yesterday about men raising boys to be men and the two guys on there (one of them was William Bennet, as in Bennet of the Book of Virtues, former Secretary of Education) were talking about how you shouldn’t be afraid to be tough on your boys and how spanking and being “firm” won’t break them (because heck, MARINES SURVIVE)…and I was just curling up inside like a dying leaf. The interviewer said, “You know, I think I wasn’t tough enough on my boys…I think I was too afraid because I wanted to be their friend.” I wonder what his boys would say about his parenting…I wonder if they really appreciate his kindness and gentleness and are glad he didn’t treat them like a Marine when they were just little boys. >.<

Leave a Reply