Midday Muse

Sometimes I learn slower than I’d like. I get frustrated because PHP isn’t intuitive and I can watch a segment and then I have to take a break and let what I learned sit there for a couple days before going back for more. On the upside, I am actually grasping it this time, but I wish I knew all the things now so I could make stuff already.
But I guess no one really learns a language in a day, and I am making progress, so that’s good.
Unrelated to PHP Basics though, I am exhausted and heavy hearted. Part of me doesn’t know why, and part of me is aware that I’m just sensing the weight of the world. I’m doing the best I can to make a small piece of it better though, and I just have to keep plugging away. I can’t focus on everything, and that’s okay.

Undo.

Sometimes I wish for an undo button, not because of regret but because I’m afraid. I applied to a job doing IT support and now I’m anxious about it. What if they hire me? (Like I’m not the one with ultimate say?) How will my life change?  Before applying it seemed like getting a job

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Life right now.

I feel the need to be more present physically in my world, but I don’t like the implication that the digital world is unimportant or doesn’t matter. Because the internet is more of the real (painful, brutal, honest) world than my physical experience is. I don’t want to sound dated when I say I need

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The Groove

The feeling you have when you want to do things and you even make progress on things just not in a way anyone can see yet, because you want more than anything to get back into your rhythm but you’re just not there. And then you remember that you moved barely a month ago, and

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24

I didn’t know how much I needed this trip until I took it, and now I feel soooo sappy. I’ve wanted to have a birthday that involved just chilling with friends for ages, but my mom was anti-chill parties, and I never end up living physically close to my friends in general, so spending a

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