It’s been almost exactly a year since returning from Burning Man. I learned a lot about myself in Black Rock City. I learned that I’m strong, capable, and so very very very trans.
I had felt reserved about being more masculine for some time before becoming one with the playa last summer. I had been actively repressing those pieces of me that wanted to escape and when I watched the temple burn I set them free.
While Victoria and I drove back from Reno in the rental car with the AC on high, dancing to chip tunes and The Black Keys, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do post-burn.
On that list was:
- Switch off Lexapro
- Start T
- Remove Implant
I forgot about this list for several months, and rediscovered it shortly after starting T and tapering off Lexapro. Three weeks ago I got my implant removed because it was reacting with the testosterone and I was having hot-flashes constantly bookending my shot days.
This morning, the Sunday before labor day….or the day the Temple burns, I woke up, pulled 1ML of testosterone from a small vial, and injected it into my thigh. I remembered then, that it’s been a whole year since I really came to grips with the masculine aspect of myself, and I’ve just run with it.
At Burning Man '16 I found the self that I buried. Wrote this list coming home & finished it 3wks ago. Just did shot #17 of T #HRTadventures pic.twitter.com/uLrM9jjHST
— Kieryn Darkwater (@bluepupboi) September 3, 2017
~exactly a year ago I ran screaming into the middle of the playa and came back with a better understanding of *myself* #hrtadventures pic.twitter.com/8kttPmfIRS
— Kieryn Darkwater (@bluepupboi) September 3, 2017
I went to Burning Man last year and discovered I was trans, and it’s totally okay to be exactly who I am. Today, I took my 17th shot of Testosterone.
I’ve come so far since I burned my past in the Temple, and it’s been good.
Leave a Reply