Tag: muse
-
Tell Me Why The World Is Fucked
2014 has been intense shit. I’m alone for a little while, and realizing how small I am. There’s only so much I can do. Before the need to attend to my psyche over powers my ability to be useful to the world. And that’s okay. I’m trying to accept that. I don’t have to be…
-
Feels
I feel like the world is falling apart at the seams and going to shit and I’m powerless to do anything about it. Between police brutality in Ferguson, shit going down in Gaza and Iraq, Robin Williams committing suicide… It’s all just too many. It’s too much. It’s getting to me. I watched the…
-
trigger(ed by SCOTUS and Hobby Lobby): a semi-tipsy sad muse time
I feel like I just got punched in the stomach. Today is really triggering a lot of not-good feelings. I hate how having a body… this female-assigned body tends to affect my life and future. I hate being reminded about how my body dictates or rather I hate how my body is dictated by…
-
vents and sundry
1) definitely going to up the dosage on my meds 2) there is nothing quite so terrifying as being called at by a strange man while I’m minding my own business at the pool. Yelling “Hey pretty lady” at me, twice, is NOT going to get me to respond to you, it is however, going…
-
New Meds Muse: Zoloft
I’ve been taking the full-dose of Zoloft (currently 50mg a day) for about a week now. I was going strong until I got stressed out on Friday, and then everything just kinda has been a haze of anxiety. I was super focused and creative and fucking fantastic for a week…excusing the bouts of nausea/dizziness and…
-
Good Reads
I’ve been going through some stuff this month – between my medications trying to get back to normal from being kicked off because vicodin, and the lovely little guilt-anxiety cycle and general overwhelmingness, I’ve felt a little lost. Some of the truths I discovered in Spring, this year and last, are more distant, which isn’t…
-
[evolve]
I lived in a rigid world with rigid language. Words like evolve and evolution were almost taboo and never spoken except in reference to something bad (or the theory, which was also bad). The act of evolving was treated with disdain when it was obvious. The word fascinates, resonates with me – it always has.…
-
Waxing Eloquent
I have a secret language that I speak inside my head. When I’m feeling brave, I write this way. It’s my own kind of prose, words have a rhythm and sentences flow. Phrases turn and swirl into what I like to call my butterfly language. When I’m honest and I write like this, I feel like it…
-
Starting Out Of Order
Sometimes I feel strange because all of the major life events happened to me before the normal life stuff. I graduated at 15, which I thought was cool at the time. I find myself now, questioning whether or not I was actually ready then. A lot of the outside-of-school skills most people learn in high…
-
Success can be scary
I didn’t know that making progress could be a scary thing. I’m ridiculously proud of how my artistry is developing and I’m at the point where I look at the things I’ve recently done and feel proud, and feel like I captured what I intended to capture. It’s wonderful, and yet, almost paralyzingly scary –…