Tag: This is my Life
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Desperate, and in need of help
It’s worth mentioning, in 2010, my parents all but disowned me and I spent 2 weeks crying, in my room, with the lights out, dealing with an amount of intense pain that I had only dealt with once before – in 2008 when my parents told me that I couldn’t see or talk to my…
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Depression and Spiritual Abuse
Looking back, it’s no wonder that all of the feelings and self loathing that lead to my depression, brought depression. I was taught that I was worthless, that I should never think well of myself, that I needed to be humble, I was never allowed to show any emotion that was not a plastic smile.…
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Depression and I (TW: Suicidal Thoughts)
I’m going to be doing a series of posts about depression (my depression). I could do one long post but it’d be a small book… I’ve struggled with depression since puberty. That’s about as far back as I remember anyway. At the time, I had no words for what I was feeling/going through, my parents…
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Random Thoughts In Disjointed Fashion
1) I haven’t written – truly written, here, in ages and I’m sad about that. Things happened – not good things. Things that sent me spiraling back into dealing with C-PTSD flare ups, a lot of tears, and a lot of fear, and a lot of disappointment and unsafe feelings. I write poetry on my…
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Stuff and Things
Well I didn’t make it into the next round of the Geek and Sundry Vlogs. All of the voter contributions were wonderful (and thank you so much)! I just must not have been what they were looking for. Still, It was worth trying, even in just learning the amount of people that I’ve been able…
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Because of What It Means (and the story I'm afraid to draw)
I. red stain on pink in a tree in the summer doing homework pointing everyone knew everyone noticed everyone but her embarrassed she ran terrified stained ashamed not just because the publicity of the moment because of everything it meant everything she hoped to avoid adults were proud kids were worried she didn’t even know…
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Paring Down (and other thoughts)
I sort of re-evaluted some things in my art journal the other day. I’ve been feeling frustrated, some of it is due to not having a high enough dose of antidepressants which I fixed last week, and some of it is due to the fact that I can tell I’m quickly heading toward burnout and…
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But why are we okay? I think, that the secret to going 4 years strong and hopefully not jinxing it is simple. We love each-other. All of each-other. We embrace that we’re human, and we evolve with each-other in tandem. Being married has given us both freedom. And so much love. And…
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And then, suddenly.
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Best Laid Plans
Are in my notes app. Mini meltdowns and overload of thoughts generally = focus and plans in the aftermath. I guess I’ve honed the skill of turning breakdowns into something useful over the years. The overwhelmingly trapped feeling gives way to “fuck it, I’m going to do some stuff, and I’m going to write it…