In January I talked about my decision to try going off of my meds. I stopped taking Buspar and Bupropion in February (I’m still taking Ritalin and Gabapentin). I’ve noticed my baseline level of upbeatness is a little lower, mostly replaced by fatigue (thanks, fibro) but otherwise I feel normal. There have been a few…
I’ve been experiencing a lot of headaches trying to do basic things like get my brain meds filled in Germany. There are rules like only certain types of general doctors can prescribe anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications, only certain kinds of doctors can prescribe testosterone, and of course only psychiatrists can prescribe ADHD meds. On top…
One day soon I will have the bandwidth to sit down and write out the things that are stirring me lately, but in the meantime here’s the cliffnotes of the last since April, I guess. The neighborhood group I’ve been organizing with since Shelter in Place started, Alice Street Mutual Aid, had a really successful…
Things haven’t gotten any easier in the last month. Every week feels like at least a decade, and I’ve been dealing with blow after blow, just trying to roll with the punches. But I am exhausted. I tried to take a Quarancation last week but it didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. A…
I don’t have to be productive 24/7. All that matters is that I take care of myself – everything else will follow. I matter. Because my body is remembering it has a uterus for the first time in almost 6 months and even though it’s still worlds better than it was untreated, it still…..fucks me…
Cynthia touched on it in the first part of her post “Freeing Self-Deceived Fundamentalists“. My family has glorified death for a really long time. I remember Columbine, like she was talking about – being something almost revered – not remotely tragic. When things were shitty(-er than normal) or if I was making a life choice…
If I’ve learned anything over the last week it’s that as nice as hiding from everything sounds it’s not necessarily helpful, or useful, and it doesn’t stop me from internalizing all of the things. Sometimes problems get so overwhelming and I think avoiding them will help and it seems like a great idea, but what…
Sometimes I don’t want to talk about depression because I don’t want it to depress other people or cause them to worry about me. But sometimes the only thing that really helps is to talk about it… So, TW: depression, I guess.
I should do so many things. I should write more about sexism and gaming. I should make that ruby app I’ve been planning. I should reboot KieryGeek. I should be better at marketing my patreons. I should be brave and find my voice and use it. I should be more friendly. I should not feel…
I’ve been triggering myself a little lately, getting introspective about life and the meaning. Nothing weird I guess, but in my dreams I found myself missing things I don’t actually miss, missing rituals and set answers – things I consciously don’t actually value. I’m not particularly sentimental, and I don’t really care about tradition for…