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Blank Slate
It occurred to me (again) that like every other move……I have a completely blank slate with which I can define myself. Which begs the question, who do I want to become here? how do I want to grow and evolve in this radically new place and context? Something I’m working through in therapy and wrestling…
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Disability in Germany
I miss the ADA. It was incredibly insufficient but nothing close to it exists in Europe and navigating a healthcare system meant for chronically abled & healthy people as a disabled chronically ill immigrant is exhausting. I learned the hard way last week that the way ADHD meds are handled is: you have a time-limit…
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Whiplash
I have a home. I have my meds sorted. I have to pick up my testosterone script every two weeks because I don’t know how to communicate that I need two bottles a month in the correct way but, at least it’s getting filled. I’m stable. My desk is set up in a way that…
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Things I’ve Learned (and noticed) So Far
Briefmarke is the word for stamps Mailboxes are yellow Bus stops look like hospital signs (giant H in the middle of a circle) Trash cans are orange and everywhere Taking your plastic and glass bottles to the machine that gives you money back for it IS A THING. Like, people wait in line to do…
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So I Moved to Berlin and Started Making Videos About It
It’s been an ordeal that I’ve been too tired to write about outside of Twitter and my patreon, but I’ve been making videos every week so check them out and don’t forget to subscribe! This week I’m going to see a doctor to try to get my prescriptions filled. Most importantly, my ritalin because that’s…
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How Many Times Can I Make A Post With “Feels” in the Title and Get Away With It?
First things first – the biggest news of the year isn’t that I got top surgery. It’s not that my partner and I became an internationally recognized legal entity… I’m moving to Berlin. The one in Germany, not New Hampshire. I went into some details about it on my Patreon in an open-to-everyone post, so…
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Post Op Photo & Feels Dump
I’ve been posting pics of the healing process on instagram and pixelfed. The process has been up and down, but mostly up. Surgery went great, I seem to be healing well. One nipple graft is perfect the other is still in its early healing stage. I’m really really really tired of wearing a binder basically…
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The Scars I Choose
I’ve been quiet here but this year has been a ride. At the beginning of the year I got referred to the trans clinic at Kaiser and referred for top and bottom surgery (double incision bilateral mastectomy with nipple graph/ metoidioplasty with urethral lengthening and scrotoplasty). Naturally there’s a pretty big backlog because it was…
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Introducing Farid and April
Today in therapy I discovered a whole entire trauma bucket that I realized I had successfully blocked from my memory until recently. Until we adopted a kitten. I need to get the story out of my head because I had this moment in therapy where I was shocked by the cruelty I’d almost successfully forgotten.…
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30
I didn’t expect 30 to actually happen. I had a relaxing birthday. My new apartment complex has an outdoor pool and a jacuzzi, and reopened it that week (in my honor, I assume). It was warm and sunny, so I got to enjoy the bubbling hot water on my joints. It reminded me of the…