NLQ didn’t “decide” to take down alumni posts, We demanded it.

Today, No Longer Quivering published a 2016 housekeeping post where they noted that they changed their focus in 2015 (which is true) to be on the mothers leaving the QF movement and as a part of that they decided to remove the voices of the adult children from their website.

excerpt from NLQ
Post excerpt.

They were not the ones who decided to remove the content – those of us who had written for them were. I was the first to ask that my posts (you can read them here) be taken down after the founder of NLQ, Vyckie Garrison, made a public Facebook post encouraging speculation of what will happen to the Duggar Family this year. It wasn’t long before things took a turn for the worst and people started commenting, speculating, and naming specifically, which of the Duggar children still at home would come out as gay.

Those of us alumni who are queer and grew up in toxic environments similar to the Duggars started posting, alerting people to the danger it puts the children at home in. Christian Patriarchy, Quiverful, and ATI parents shun even the appearance of evil, and if word gets to them that someone on the internet (or anywhere) thinks their child is gay, it’s going to make life hell for that child, or worse. Queer kids living at home are already at a higher risk of abuse, homelessness, and suicide even outside of conservative families. They last thing we need is for people posting wildly in a comment section about the sexuality of children in the public eye, in a toxic environment they did not choose, who will be the ones to pay the price if or when this gets back to them.

As a result, those of us who are queer or allies in the comments section calling out these people were harassed, stalked, and told in not so many ways to shut the fuck up and let the adults have their fun. Caring about children in the same situation we were apparently means we’re bitter and have more recovering to do.

Meanwhile, Vyckie, who decided to let this go on, eventually started liking the comments that were clearly cruel and abusive to the queer survivors of this environment and later made another public post about how she isn’t responsible for anything that happens on her Facebook wall, even though she made the choice to allow this behavior and start off with a public post that everyone in the world can see.

I’ve grown increasingly uncomfortable with Vyckie in the years since I wrote for her, but this was the last straw. In the last couple days she has made it abundantly clear that her only concern is not for healing and safety of all who are escaping toxic christianity and the quiverful movement, but merely the adults and militant atheists who agree with her and enjoy making the children of the movement into a side show.

I wrote to Vyckie and Suzanne on the first day to have my posts taken down. Others soon followed suit and are continuing to do so – including Love Joy Feminism, and Homeschooler’s Anonymous. While NLQ is attempting to take credit for the elimination of alumni voices on their website, I thought it was pertinent to post the real reason for the removal.

This wasn’t NLQ’s doing, it was ours. We’re tired of being used by a woman who chose the quiverful lifestyle to garner a following and fame while patting herself on the back and putting kids still at home at risk.

2 comments

  1. Thank you for the clarification.

    It was the voices of the “children” (now adults) that helped this mom to see that I’d bought into a lie, that the problem we were having was not my own failure, but fatal flaws in the “system” itself, that legalism kills. It tears my heart to hear that NLQ’s owner would put children at risk in such a reckless, thoughtless, selfish, immature manner, and then pretend that they decided to focus on the adults coming out of the QF movement.

    Frankly, it was my love for my children, my hopes for my children, my hopelessness for my children while we were stuck in the “movement” — that moved me to finally stand up and say, “Enough!” I don’t think reading the accounts of adults who’ve left would have been enough. I felt worthless enough as it was, I had no reason to try to save myself from my despair and worthlessness.

    But my children were another story. I couldn’t just sit there and watch their hopelessness grow.

    Thank you for your courage and commitment. Keep telling these uncomfortable truths. Bless you.

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