Tag: vulnerable
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I did the bare minimum of things today. Nothing really seemed to go right and I couldn’t get out of my head. Hormones and PTSD are starting to get to me and I just want to hide and snuggle and maybe pig out on chocolate. So right now I’m drinking snapple, watching cartoons, and have…
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Permission
My art journal and painting themes are quickly becoming permission slips for myself. Focusing on granting my heart the thing it needs at that moment and somehow silencing my very loud, harsh, inner critic. She’s a bitch and always tells me what to do, doesn’t let me sleep when I need to and is generally just cruel. She comes…
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internal combustion
I’m afraid that the honest expression of my most vehement feelings against the things that crush my soul will (and do) make other people feel invalidated. I don’t want that to be, but at the same time, I want to be able to express myself. I don’t know if there’s room for both. I react…
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New Circles
I’m in a weird place. My support group has sort of eroded and I’m standing in the middle between a place I want to be and being sad because I feel like I’ve lost most of the people who’ve really helped me over the last few years. Truth is, I’ve moved on. I’m not completely done…
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Epiphany
Look out, world.
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Bikini Debut
We had a heat warning thing the other day because the heat index was at 100º F due to humidity. Unlike the rest of the US, apparently Maine doesn’t believe in central AC so we have to try to suffice with the stupid window units that work as long as you’re not in a different…
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Babies, bathwater, and shit in the brownies
Whenever people write about something remotely controversial the people who disagree generally respond with “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!” and occasionally the viewpoint opposite will make a retort about how if you had a brownie with dog shit in it you wouldn’t eat it. My response to the two of them are…
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When I give myself a voice
and tell myself what I really need and what my motives are, I get this. And then my brain feels really sheepish about it, like maybe it’s really lame and I’m incapable of mattering or doing things that matter. I think it’s just upset that it kept it hidden and in the shadows for so…
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Before Bed
Every night before I fall asleep (somewhat fitfully) for the last few days I’ve had a running scenario/monologue. This isn’t really new to me, but for some reason it’s been fairly consistent the last few days which is somewhat odd. I’m a guest on my favorite podcast (nerdist) and we’re talking about something and it…
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Art Journaling
I’ve wanted to be an art journaler for a long time, but every time I started I’d stop. I think it was because subconsciously I never really felt good enough. I loved other people’s art journals – in books, with loads of paint, or collages. But I’ve never really been able to do that (I…