Tag progress

23 posts

Paring Down (and other thoughts)

I sort of re-evaluted some things in my art journal the other day. I’ve been feeling frustrated, some of it is due to not having a high enough dose of antidepressants which I fixed last week, and some of it is due to the fact that I can tell I’m quickly heading toward burnout and I’m not doing enough of what I actually want to be doing.

journalI have a problem with saying yes without thinking. Usually this is a good thing, but then I get overwhelmed. I’m split from what I want to do and doing something that I also want to do but it’s not the thing I want to do it’s just a thing I’m doing because it seemed like a good idea.

I’m doing lots of these things. I’ve brought it upon myself – I put a lot of expectations on myself and I need to pare those down. I need to pursue the things that make me happy – I started doing that, actually, between my comics and submitting my vlog to the G&S Vlog channel, I’m really proud of myself and feel oh so alive.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to pursue programming as a vocation. I’ll do wordpress/troubleshooting for friends/personal projects, so I can do what I do better.

This is such an awkward post to write. To the people I’m doing internet stuff with/for – still doing it. I won’t leave you hanging.

Rain is one of my favorite artists. Whenever she writes there’s some part of my soul that murmurs yes. I want to be ethereal like that, some part of me longs to touch the blades of grass like Willow and feel how the entire earth is connected through roots and energy. It ignites. But that’s not my voice; I feel like it’s a part of me that is there, but waiting. Like a surprise present – it’ll come out when I’m ready, in it’s own way, in it’s me-ness (which probably won’t look anything like my lovely bohemian sister-warrioress). My voice will evolve into whatever it needs to be. Right now, it’s cognitive, I live within my head: thinking, writing, drawing, processing; and I like that I found it.

Tomorrow is our 4th anniversary(!!!!!), It’s pretty cool, I’m excited. We’ve both come such a long way since then, it’s kind of hard to imagine (though, mostly due to embarrassment) – I’m so happy we’ve evolved.

Tonight I’m picking up some more Legion of Everblight minis. I’ve been paranoid I’ll forget all day, but I won’t. Thursday or Friday I’m going to film an actual KieryGeek episode, and then next week I’ll have another #mattandkieryvsstripsearch hangout. I also started a series called The Acceptance Chronicles, where I process puberty and hope it’s funny. ^Things that make me happy.

 

Listy-list

To help myself stay focused I occasionally make myself a “Things I want to do this week” list. This aids the I-already-filmed-now-what-do-I-do crisis of focus that has become a weekly phenomenon.
I use the phrase “want to do”, because saying things I “need to do” usually ends up leading me into a week of depression for not doing something I didn’t really even need to do in the first place. Instead of making myself a list of things I want to do this week, I decided to make a list of things I’d like to do this month.

  1.  Get to the Ruby Foundations badge of Team Treehouse. (13 badges to go)
  2.  Send out Giveaway
  3.  Send Zach paintings
  4.  Sell a painting (or a book)
  5.  Take book to library (and/or Faith’s)
  6.  Paint 3 pieces and list on etsy
  7.  Announce July hiatus for KieryGeek
  8.  Prime/Paint Protectorate of Menoth army

Success can be scary

I didn’t know that making progress could be a scary thing. I’m ridiculously proud of how my artistry is developing and I’m at the point where I look at the things I’ve recently done and feel proud, and feel like I captured what I intended to capture.
It’s wonderful, and yet, almost paralyzingly scary – I’m afraid that I’ll forget, or that it won’t last, or that I won’t remember what it took to get here, or that I’ll peak here. I know none of these are founded…but I realized I think I’m at the point where if I were to list a bunch of new things, they would actually have a better chance of selling. I feel like I’m capable of making a handprint, and I’m scared to – scared that maybe it won’t evolve or be able to change, and I don’t know what to make.
This week, I’m going to try and finish my art books, and start painting again. I think the only cure, at this point, would be to keep making better art and keep improving in addition to the improvements that have already taken place. I think that’s the only way I’m going to dispel the fear of losing “it”, and continue to find my voice.
art journal

And, it's the last day

Last day of the cleanse. If you followed on tumblr (or have just been following along), you know I didn’t stick with it to the letter. Especially after realizing how corporate it was and not being able to bring myself to eat beef on the first beef day.
I didn’t lose ALL the pounds, but I wasn’t trying to (and I think it would have been unhealthy for me if I had). I am slightly more toned (thanks to added bits of exercise), my insides feel much less grumpy and I feel like I know my body better than when I started. So I’m going to go ahead and call it a success.

I refuse to be a failure

Fruit-only day was the hardest. Banana and Soup day was the easiest (and tastiest). Meat days were weird – I was much thirstier on those days and drank a lot more water, which was what I was supposed to do, it was just much easier.
Continue reading

hm

Switched bags for tonight and my trip tomorrow. I plan on filming a segment, if not an entire special episode for next week while I’m off adventuring. Both at the Avenger’s midnight premier and in Boston before/after The Nerdist Podcast.
I need to sleep more, but I just got my hair all perfect for going to the game thing tonight so I don’t want to lay on it. Also, I’m way too excited (and woke up way too early) about the next 36 hours. I can always sleep on the train, and sleep until I need to get ready to leave tomorrow.
I was having a hard time not feeling guilty all week because life happened and ruined my plans of finishing badges, Mass Effect 3, and starting on a new painting set – but it supplemented it with better things, so I shouldn’t feel bad right? For some reason, when I write things down and say “I’m going to get this done this week” I feel bad when I don’t. Which is good, I guess, but I shouldn’t let it get to me to the point where I stress about it because there are more fun things to do but I told myself I’d do X, Y, and Z instead.
art journal
It’s weird sometimes, how one different decision can affect your general…I don’t know, decision-making-outlook for a brief time (or longer). Like, deciding to go to the game night instead of turning it down – one unusual decision lead to, hey, you know if I really wanted to, I COULD go to Boston. Another, even more unusual decision. And then doing that.
Making unusual decisions is really scary, but it’s the good kind of scary, it’s the scary that makes you feel like you’re alive and actively involved in your life instead of passively. Unusual decisions lead to new experiences and adventures, which fit well with my word and my 21 things. I wanted to be more social, and do something that scares me and making unusual decisions (or decisions that I don’t generally make in favor of staying in my comfort zone) allow me to do that.
21 Things

Side Projects

So it’s kinda cool – Alex and I have started doing side projects, sort of on accident. I’ve been working on my book, and Alex just made a mac-app for sending files from FCPX to places. It’ll be nice to have a bit of revenue from different sources – it’s exciting. Also, for the first time ever, we’re getting a tax return which will help with upgrading our computer-ness!
 

:D

Createspace Proofs
The new proof came in, to illustrate (haha) the difference, I put the old version and the new one side by side.
I spent the afternoon tweaking the margins and title page, and fixing one illustration and the back cover. As soon as those get out of review, I’ll be hitting publish because this version has an ISBN!
I think, also, I’ll write a post about some self-publishing tips I learned the hard way, but right now, I’m really excited. The new illustrations are clean and vibrant and all the faces match. ^.^
 

21 things progress (new, with a legend!)

21 things progress

I’m a photo session at walmart, a large check, and a trip to the library away from getting my passport.

A bunch of new clothes and my converse shoes(!!) should arrive in the next two weeks, and I should also be able to finish that off in a few weeks and be all ready for the next, long time until I need clothes. Or at the very least, winter.

5 illustrations and a bit of formatting away from finishing my book and launching that, and subsequently, buying a month-long team treehouse subscription.

I’ve been experimenting with plucking my eyebrows (and that actually worked pretty well, unruly things) and with the exception of this week, I’ve been giving myself a weekly mud-mask session as well as playing with my yoga mat and doing things that make me feel good. Starting Monday (if my legs aren’t out of commission from our 8 mile walk today) I’ll be waking up early and running from Zombies.

I’m 11 months/new drinks away from that particular goal too. ^.^

I like progress.

Book Month!

I intend to probably be posting less on here this month because I’ll be working on my book – but I came up with a plan that’s kinda brilliant.
I’m transferring all my draft illustrations to watercolor paper first, and getting them *all* outlined before I start painting, so I won’t face another hangup like I did in the fall because of the more daunting pieces.
Today was sort of face-palmy. It’s cold, snowy, and I lost my pencil sharpener for several hours so it took *a lot* longer than it should have to transfer the drafts to the other paper because of all of the erasing from un-sharp pencils.
Also, my arms are killing me because I walked the groceries and a pair of boots home last night after I parked the car in the parking garage about 5 blocks away in anticipation of the snow that started last night and won’t end till who-knows-when.
I have 6 illustrations transferred, started with the most complicated and worked my way down. I’m saving 5 for tomorrow because 1) I’m tired and so are my arms and 2) to give my arms more time to be less achey before I pick up a brush for several hours.
So that’s how it’s coming. They should all be transferred tomorrow and painting shouldn’t take too long, it might be a couple-weeks project instead of a month at this point, but I shouldn’t say that because I’m sure the bulk of it will be formatting and then making an ipad version with the new ibook author app that came out.