I’m moving in three days.
We’ve talked about this for years and spent the last 12 months slowly getting things ready to change coasts, and now it’s finally happening.
Today I need to run some things to the community center, clean the windows, dust the baseboards and blinds, sweep, mop, dishes….
make sure people are going to come and pick up what they need to, get the apartment ready for the showing tonight, remember to eat sometime in between all of that, and put what’s going in the car in one area.
But right now I’m enamored with my solar “plant” bobbing away, oblivious to the chaos that is moving and the lists in my head preventing me from sleep.
Just bobbing, still getting enough sun to move even though it’s completely overcast because science.
It doesn’t care.
So today I’m finding solace in the little bobbing solar plant I left on the windowsill because it makes me happy, even though everything really should be in boxes.
It’s bobbing, and I’ll throw it in my car and it can bob away at our new place on overcast days, completely oblivious to the world.
Seriously though, it’s weird. Every other year or so, I expand out (exhale) I disperse my art and my thoughts across various different sites for a couple years to compartmentalize them in my mind, and then over time, every thing comes back together (inhale) and I try to put everything back in one place again. I’ve done this enough times that it’s starting to feel like breathing, a natural inhale and exhale of my online presence, going more places and coming back in. I’ve added back a couple handfuls of posts from KieryGeek.Com because I keep writing (or wanting to write) about games here, and keeping up an entirely separate and more quiet blog has been thrown to the wayside, but then I feel guilty and like I’m neglecting it. If you check out the KieryGeek category, you’ll see a bunch more stuff than before.
KieryGeek.Com will still be around and alive, as an archive (so all the links will work, yay!) until I decide to exhale again.
I’m also breathing.
I changed meds and have been taking Lexapro for about two weeks now and I feel a lot better than I did on Zoloft. The vivid dreams have started to die down so I’m sleeping again, which is helpful. I got my hair cut, and I get to play business Kiery this weekend, which involves makeup and some pretty rad shoes.
I’ve been sick since last Friday with a cold. I’ve quarantined myself from most of the people I would usually hang out with in order to spare any exposure. I’ve been trying to rest, emphasis on trying.
Meanwhile, I’ve been itching to paint but have had no energy to. The drive to put something on canvas is just welling up inside, and I feel like I would burst if it weren’t for the being really tired part. The weather, the rain, seeing, that’s been happening lately, noticing little details – the textures of rocks on the beach, the piercing blue eyes of an actor, that Jeremy Renner has really got the looking-cool-while-pointing-objects-thing down, those moments when you accidentally make eye contact with someone, or weirdly connect.
I like piercing eyes, human moments, connection…..little things that we generally ignore and brush over, little things that in some place in my soul, well up and make me come alive.