Tag breaks

2 posts

On Books and Bees

I went to the library and found all the best fairy books in the kids section. I came home with one called the Faerie Door and I’m almost done with it. My favorite thing about libraries is that you can just sit there and read and no one bothers you and then you can bring the book home and continue to read it because you can’t pull yourself away. I think the kids section is the best part of the library because all the most fantastical stories are there – the authors don’t have to prove themselves to the adult world and they can be as imaginative and wondrous as they please, and this is why I mostly read YA books.

The kids section is the best part of the library

A photo posted by Kiery King (@kiery28) on


My particular library branch is small, and the dvd and adult sections don’t have a lot in my particular interests, but the teen section is what really stole my heart. They had so many resources – I can tell that my library actually cares about the youth that frequent it and I was trying hard not to cry even though I’m years removed from teenagehood. It would have meant so much to me if my library had emergency numbers, LGBTQ resources, and books dedicated to assuring me that I am indeed okay.
There’s this fiction book, called stronger than you know, about an abused homeschooled girl with PTSD who is rescued from her family, lives with her aunt and uncle and is trying to brave the world. I couldn’t bring myself to read more than the first page without being overcome and also wanting to leave it there for the inevitable person who’d need it after I left.

So I came home with a book I’ve barely been able to put down. I’ll probably finish it tonight and then drop it off at the library before going to explore a waterfall tomorrow. Yesterday I watched some bees pollinate lavender while waiting for the bus and taking in the breeze. I’m not sure how much I like being disconnected from twitter and facebook – half of me wishes I were all the time, and the other half knows it’s not good to be in a bubble cut off from the world forever, either – and the fact is, twitter is a better place for news than the news. I can also easily get lost in my head, and need a way out – sometimes it’s pleasant, a lot of times…..it’s not. I get lost in remembering things my parents said and did and I get upset with little to distract me.
I think the moral of the story is, I need to consciously remember to watch the bees, take in the air, take breaks, but also consciously live outside my head, and pay attention to the world.
Happier? no, less angry, maybe. Calmer? yes. More productive? somewhat. I just need to listen to myself.

Oblivious

 
ezgif.com-cropI’m moving in three days.
Finally.
We’ve talked about this for years and spent the last 12 months slowly getting things ready to change coasts, and now it’s finally happening.
Today I need to run some things to the community center, clean the windows, dust the baseboards and blinds, sweep, mop, dishes….
make sure people are going to come and pick up what they need to, get the apartment ready for the showing tonight, remember to eat sometime in between all of that, and put what’s going in the car in one area.
But right now I’m enamored with my solar “plant” bobbing away, oblivious to the chaos that is moving and the lists in my head preventing me from sleep.
Just bobbing, still getting enough sun to move even though it’s completely overcast because science.
It doesn’t care.
So today I’m finding solace in the little bobbing solar plant I left on the windowsill because it makes me happy, even though everything really should be in boxes.
It’s bobbing, and I’ll throw it in my car and it can bob away at our new place on overcast days, completely oblivious to the world.