Category: Writing

  • Sex™ (and the lies I was told about it)

    Sex™ (and the lies I was told about it)

    *”Sex™” for this post refers to traditional (procreative/penetrative) intercourse* Sex™ is hard – and I don’t mean it in the cute double-entandra way. I mean it’s difficult. It’s hard being newly married with an unhealthy body image, unhealthy (and untrue) understanding of what Sex™ is and means. Becoming quickly disillusioned by false promises perpetuated by…

  • Unsafe Places

    Unsafe Places

    Churches are not safe. I can’t step into one without coming up with an escape plan and spending a majority of the time warding off a panic attack. The families (particularly if the church is made of up of mostly families, with multiple children under 10), the songs, communion, the language in the preaching –…

  • I Don't Pray Anymore

    I Don't Pray Anymore

    When I was 10 and we were well into our left-the-cult-but-still-kept-everything-but-demons days we started going to church again. After being told churches in general were evil, it was weird going back to the buildings. My church experience was never great, we were never at one long enough to belong, because the pastor would say something…

  • The Cult That Changed Everything

    The Cult That Changed Everything

    When I was between the ages of 5 and 7 my parents joined a bible study group through a family in our homeschool group. I guess it was less of a bible study and more of a home-church, because we went to their house for hours every weekend (I can’t remember if it was Saturday…

  • Warning: Language (and trauma, and why birth isn't beautiful)

    Warning: Language (and trauma, and why birth isn't beautiful)

    I wrote this up a few months ago, when I was just remembering all of it, and wanting to scream because I’ve always felt that no one really understands or understood my vehement desire to remain childless, or why every time labor or pregnancy (or children, for that matter) come up in a conversation, I…

  • Silence isn't Golden

    Silence isn't Golden

    I’m tired of watching abuse. It happened to me, it happens around me – it’s the reason I can’t run away and escape from my past. The reason I can’t forget, the reason with every core of my being I become so angry that I lose words and start to breakdown. In 2005, 2006, and…

  • The Outbreak (part 7)

    The Outbreak (part 7)

    Amy tossed and turned. Water was all she could think about but she couldn’t muster the strength to ask. She opened her bleary eyes and looked about the room. She found the cup; and noticed her parents asleep on chairs outside. She reached as far as she could to no avail. Defeated, she closed her…

  • The Outbreak (part 6)

    The Outbreak (part 6)

    “Amy, honey” Her mom whispered softly lowering herself into a chair by the bed, her father put his hand on her mother’s shoulder and looked down teary-eyed. “I’m so…sorry” Amy managed to murmur. Her parents cried and held her hand as the world faded into black again. — Black suit, soft steps, swipe of a…

  • The Outbreak (part 5)

    The Outbreak (part 5)

    Apologies for the length of time between this installation and the last one. Life and vacation happened and I ran out of words. I finally managed to put a few together this morning because I just needed to write. Hopefully I’ll break down this block and write more frequently again, thanks for your patience. —…

  • The Outbreak (part 4)

    The Outbreak (part 4)

    Squeaky wheels, bright lights, everything was blurring – voices, rolling, walls, beeping. Slowly unfamiliar faces came into focus. “w-wh-where, where am I?” Amy mumbled, stuttering as she was carted through a set of doors. Doctors were shouting and saying something about “CC’s” and “pox”, they shot something into her arm and everything grew dim again.…