Category: Something Real
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Post Op Photo & Feels Dump
I’ve been posting pics of the healing process on instagram and pixelfed. The process has been up and down, but mostly up. Surgery went great, I seem to be healing well. One nipple graft is perfect the other is still in its early healing stage. I’m really really really tired of wearing a binder basically…
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The Scars I Choose
I’ve been quiet here but this year has been a ride. At the beginning of the year I got referred to the trans clinic at Kaiser and referred for top and bottom surgery (double incision bilateral mastectomy with nipple graph/ metoidioplasty with urethral lengthening and scrotoplasty). Naturally there’s a pretty big backlog because it was…
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Introducing Farid and April
Today in therapy I discovered a whole entire trauma bucket that I realized I had successfully blocked from my memory until recently. Until we adopted a kitten. I need to get the story out of my head because I had this moment in therapy where I was shocked by the cruelty I’d almost successfully forgotten.…
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30
I didn’t expect 30 to actually happen. I had a relaxing birthday. My new apartment complex has an outdoor pool and a jacuzzi, and reopened it that week (in my honor, I assume). It was warm and sunny, so I got to enjoy the bubbling hot water on my joints. It reminded me of the…
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COVID Log 4
One day soon I will have the bandwidth to sit down and write out the things that are stirring me lately, but in the meantime here’s the cliffnotes of the last since April, I guess. The neighborhood group I’ve been organizing with since Shelter in Place started, Alice Street Mutual Aid, had a really successful…
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COVID Log 3
Things haven’t gotten any easier in the last month. Every week feels like at least a decade, and I’ve been dealing with blow after blow, just trying to roll with the punches. But I am exhausted. I tried to take a Quarancation last week but it didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. A…
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Not okay
I’ve started and stopped more posts than I can remember in the last month since COVID19 ate everything. I’m trying to find humor and light to what feels like my religious upbringings’ flavor of tribulation coming to pass in real time. I can’t. I’m not going to try anymore. Today I am angry and hurting…
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This is Your Brain; This is Your Brain on ADHD Meds.
After 2 years of fighting to get tested and treated for the sheer inability to focus when I need to on the things I need to, I finally found a psychiatrist who listened to me and prescribed me the babiest dose of Strattera. I’ve been documenting it, as I do: This is day 2, and…
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Ramifications
Just because the faith has been left and the arguments don’t hold up against basic questions, doesn’t mean that the roots of these beliefs went away.
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More Feelings I Guess
On the interwebs I’ve been doing some of the goofy “it’s been a decade, what’s the then/now of __________” memes. The decade of hair is one of my faves. In a lot of ways I still struggle with feeling inadequate or incompetent because I feel behind my peers on so many levels. That sense of…