Category: Gender

  • Fairy Dust and Awesomeness

    Fairy Dust and Awesomeness

    My body is changing. I’ve talked about it before. It’s confusing, disorienting…scary. I can’t hide my boobs anymore, because they’ve grown too much. I have massive cleavage in a sports bra. My hips and thighs are bigger, rounder, more curvy. My body is growing into more of a “woman” shape than I would like it…

  • What is Sex When You Have Vaginismus?

    It’s not something I talk about much, it’s not something anyone talks about much because there’s so much weight to it. I’ve spent the last 5, almost 6 years that I’ve been sexually active trying to deal with the shame and confusion that comes from having a condition that makes penis-in-vagina sex painful, if not…

  • Pepper Potts in an Iron Man Suit

    Pepper Potts was in an Iron Man suit. The suit was keeping her alive. She couldn’t just take it off whenever she wanted to, because to do so before she was in a place to receive proper and necessary medical care would be her death. As it was, the condition that lead her to live…

  • First.

    First.

    I graduated high school three years before my friends did. I was getting married at the same time they were getting their diplomas. I felt the eyes of all the parents and their kids on me as I navigated the hell that was my courtship – even the families with kids in their 20’s hadn’t…

  • Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 5

    Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 5

    And then we ran away and lived happily ever after, right?! Well….After I got up to Maine my parents began this routine where they were suddenly super nice! Sent me my clothes, told me I could come back…and then would also be really mean. Back and forth, back and forth. I had just escaped an…

  • Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 4

    Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 4

    I went a couple weeks listening to my parents and not talking to Alex. Making sure they weren’t monitoring me, etc. As they became convinced I had moved on (apparently cutting my hair in an effort to defy them = moving on) I went into planning mode. Alex and I had figured out ways of…

  • Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 3

    Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 3

    Spring Break was tense, and tension just kept rising. In May, something broke. I cannot remember what it was in specific. As much as I’ve tried to block off most of these memories, that one was just….I can’t get to it. I know it happened, I know I felt betrayed by my parents in a way I’d…

  • Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 2

    Well Then, God is a Shitty Author Part 2

    Alex’s dad called mine because he wanted Alex not to be crushed if he asked and dad said no. Or so the story goes. Anyway, not long after, maybe the next day or later that night, Alex called and asked dad The Question (because asking to court is basically asking to marry me. I’m not…

  • Well Then, God is a Shitty Author

    Well Then, God is a Shitty Author

    cracks knucklesSo, I was looking in the archives and realized that in the ~5 years I’ve been blogging here, I’ve only mentioned courting like, 4 times (swear it feels like more though), and it’s such a huge part of my story….but also an intensely emotional and painful one, which is why it’s referenced but never…

  • Things: an update

    I have two very much needed weeks off. Well, one, now, but still. It’s weird, I crammed a lot into November and the first half of December and I’m emotionally drained and exhausted, but it’s been good? I did the Ludum Dare and learned how to build a playable game (that’s still fun) in unity,…