Category: Evolution
-
The Awkward In-Between
I’ve noticed myself try to be quieter as I’ve started becoming more visibly masculine.When people read me as male I feel like suddenly (in the feminist & progressive discourse spaces I inhabit) I no longer have a voice worth listening to. It’s difficult to balance the way feminist discourse at large tries to get masculine…
-
First Week
I’ve been coming home from school every day this week kind of struck by how prepared I am for college despite never being in a classroom setting for ~8 hrs/day before. I hadn’t thought about how fighting tooth and nail for my education, and seeing it through myself, and teaching myself through high school would…
-
Semester 1
Tomorrow I start school at Laney. I took the compass test and will be taking the Technical Math (which is designed for people in any of the trades programs) course instead of arithmetic. I’m also taking Welding, Shop, Spatial Reasoning, Engineering Drawings, and Electricity. I’ll be at school from before 8am until 5 or…
-
Avocado Toast
It’s 12:30am on Thursday. My body has decided hot flashes every 10 minutes is a Fun Thing To Do, so I’m awake. I haven’t written here since the end of March. I’m currently waiting for hopefully the last edit of a hyperlapse for YIMBYtown – the housing conference & unconference in July that East Bay…
-
Hiatus
You may have noticed that I really haven’t been able to do much of anything for several weeks at this point. My brain checked out two weeks ago thanks to burnout and I’m only slowly getting it back. It’s really frustrating because the world is still going to shit, I just am powerless to do…
-
On Kindness and Transphobia [TW]
Someone from my past emailed me a few times this week. Claiming they were good listeners and wanted to have a relationship, “one soul to another”. They then sent two emails following that, The first, on valentine’s day, defending my parents by saying they were merely imperfect and I’m overreacting about the abuse I suffered at their…
-
To Do List
Shit I need to do today: news interview testosterone shot – make sure PCP knows which dose is correct, also, now that insurance exists, belated bloodwork, figure out how much anxiety is the lower dose of bupropion vs fascism keeping me awake at night, also make sure she fixes the script for syringes get in…
-
Birthday Feels/Survival Anxiety
Holy shit. In light of everything else happening, like fascism, it seems silly that the thing plaguing my mind would be my birthday. On one hand I feel like I shouldn’t even bother celebrating something so frivolous because, fascism. On the other, I have this unshakeable feeling that we might be in nuclear fallout by…
-
It me, a trans boi
I didn’t know I was trans until my mid 20’s. I didn’t have the language or the context to explain what I felt growing up. My writing over the last 8 years has actually thoroughly documented parts of that process. Coming to terms with my gender and what that means to me. I spent my…
-
Holy Shit 2k16
Guess I’ll just start off with a list of Things I’ve Done this year and then talk about how I feel about them/the world in general, because holy fuck 2016. This time last year I’d just enrolled at North Seattle and was starting ABE where I learned I’m actually good at math and I learn…