Year: 2018

  • 2019 is for Self Compassion

    2019 is for Self Compassion

    Something my therapist has been encouraging me to remind myself of is that I deserve to take good care of myself. So I’ve decided that in 2019 I’m going to take everything I’ve learned from this year and try to take good care of myself. I’m emphasizing good because if I just take care of…

  • One Year of School

    One Year of School

    I have survived an entire year of college. This semester has been especially challenging, in more ways than the previous two were. I learned a lot about my limits and that just because it only takes 6 weeks to heal your stitches does not mean that you are better 6 weeks later. I am currently…

  • Scared

    Scared

    I am fucking terrified.  This week has done a number on me emotionally, psychologically, and physically. I’m so tired of thinking about it that I barely want to talk about it. But it’s the background radiation of my life and I am having FEELINGS right now and it’s frustrating because it feels so isolating.  Reynaud’s…

  • Future.

    Future.

    Since the last post I’ve been able to sit with myself for a few minutes and think about where I go from here.  I’ve decided that I am definitely going to focus on Labor Studies since Coming Out Week went so well and I got an email about the Student Organizing Cohort that the Ethnic…

  • Future?

    Future?

    My therapist asked me what it would look like if just asked myself what I had spoons to do each day and did that, instead of running myself into the ground trying to do everything. We talked about how when I started school I was set on finishing everything on time and thought I’d be…

  • School is for Healing

    School is for Healing

    I’ve been coming to grips with some stuff about what I’m studying lately, which is largely that 1: I really enjoy machining, but 2: I do not believe that I am capable of being a manual machinist in a traditional shop and I don’t see that as my future.  It’s a weird sentence to write,…

  • Laney Queers

    Laney Queers

    This time last year I was on campus feeling very alone. I learned that there wasn’t a queer club before I started and decided that I wanted to make it happen.  Right before I got on the plane home from YIMBYtown on Tuesday, I got an email from the club advisor saying that the Laney…

  • English 1A

    English 1A

    I keep coming back to that part in the Prisoner of Azkaban where Harry asks why the Dementors seem to affect him more than other people, and Lupin explains that the Dementors feed on every good memory until all that’s left is trauma, they affect Harry the most because he has actual horrors in his…

  • Recovery Update

    Recovery Update

    I’m 10 days post-op, the stabbing sensation has largely subsided. I’m still spotting a bit, the incisions ache if I move or stretch too much, but I’ve been fine with two ibuprofen 600s (one around noon after I eat, and one after dinner/before bed) for most of the week, and I haven’t needed Percocet since…

  • uterus = null

    uterus = null

    Monday I had a complete hysterectomy. I got to Mt. Zion hospital at 5:45am, surgery started around 8am, I was out at 11:30 and discharged around noon. Then I went on a really bumpy car ride to Concord, where I am resting and marathoning Harry Potter all week. My surgery was laparoscopic so it was…