Inspiration to Start

Some people say that the best thing to do when you want to learn – is copy someone you like or inspires you. This will help you start doing things, and start learning, while simultaneously discovering your voice. My interests are wide, varied, and occasionally unrelated. I struggle most with deciding what to focus on at any given point. I find it better to decide that I’m going to dedicate one month to doing ____ and then change topics. With the start of my web-series KieryGeek, I have a schedule for the first half of the week but once that’s over, I get confused and need to figure out something else.
The inspiration for creating my own web show and the courage to start doing all of the things that I’ve been doing – web design, acting, art, traveling, etc… stemmed from a few people. First, Alex – because I live with him and if he weren’t constantly cool with or “pushing” me to do the things I want to, I would never have the gumption to do anything in the first place. Secondly, Chris Hardwick and Felicia Day – because they do the things I want to do (mostly) and they started by just doing things.
It took me a long time before I understood the advice (and, dare I say, value) of imitating to learn. Mostly because I was applying it only to painting, and I physically find copying difficult – I haven’t figured out why.
After reading The Nerdist Way, reminding myself often of the words of Ira Glass, and this phrase I decided to just start.

She decided to start living the life she imagined. She believed she could, so she did. She replaced her fear of the unknown with curiosity. She looked around, and life was pretty amazing. – author unknown?

I started believing (or, like Neil Gaiman pointed out – pretending) that I could learn and do all the things that I wanted to, and do them well. Maybe not at first, but eventually.
So, “I did”. I started creating. Tomorrow is the 7th episode of my web-show, and on the 10th episode (June 15th) I’ll be selecting a winner for the giveaway that will be fully announced the week before.
I’m a harsh critic of my work, and I always wonder in the back of my head if I’m just really lame and people are just being polite. But I’ve realized that slowly progress is being made. Tomorrow’s episode has an amazing introduction. The first episode with an introduction actually, and I plan on taking a hiatus in July to work on making improvements.
The gap in my artistry is slowly starting to become bridged. I realized this a few days ago while art journaling, yesterday while drawing, and Monday night while writing. Slowly I’m getting to the point where what I’m creating is closer to what I envision. The feeling is intoxicatingly horrifying, yet immeasurably exhilarating.
It took one fearless moment paired with one unusual decision: just start

hm

Switched bags for tonight and my trip tomorrow. I plan on filming a segment, if not an entire special episode for next week while I’m off adventuring. Both at the Avenger’s midnight premier and in Boston before/after The Nerdist Podcast.
I need to sleep more, but I just got my hair all perfect for going to the game thing tonight so I don’t want to lay on it. Also, I’m way too excited (and woke up way too early) about the next 36 hours. I can always sleep on the train, and sleep until I need to get ready to leave tomorrow.
I was having a hard time not feeling guilty all week because life happened and ruined my plans of finishing badges, Mass Effect 3, and starting on a new painting set – but it supplemented it with better things, so I shouldn’t feel bad right? For some reason, when I write things down and say “I’m going to get this done this week” I feel bad when I don’t. Which is good, I guess, but I shouldn’t let it get to me to the point where I stress about it because there are more fun things to do but I told myself I’d do X, Y, and Z instead.
art journal
It’s weird sometimes, how one different decision can affect your general…I don’t know, decision-making-outlook for a brief time (or longer). Like, deciding to go to the game night instead of turning it down – one unusual decision lead to, hey, you know if I really wanted to, I COULD go to Boston. Another, even more unusual decision. And then doing that.
Making unusual decisions is really scary, but it’s the good kind of scary, it’s the scary that makes you feel like you’re alive and actively involved in your life instead of passively. Unusual decisions lead to new experiences and adventures, which fit well with my word and my 21 things. I wanted to be more social, and do something that scares me and making unusual decisions (or decisions that I don’t generally make in favor of staying in my comfort zone) allow me to do that.
21 Things