I lived in a rigid world with rigid language. Words like evolve and evolution were almost taboo and never spoken except in reference to something bad (or the theory, which was also bad). The act of evolving was treated with disdain when it was obvious. The word fascinates, resonates with me – it always has. Evolve – the gradual growth and change. The word itself rocks rigidity, rocks the mindset and the world; it’s no wonder it was practically shunned – that I was scared to breathe it until after adulthood without feeling the need to caveat.
Still, as I mused at 3:30 this morning, if there was one word that described all of me – my values, my personality, my goals – it would be evolve. I don’t want to stop growing in my 20’s; to remain stagnant for the rest of my existence. What is existence if there’s no evolution? If we’re not changing and growing and learning? If we resign ourselves to staying the same, shunning any personal change, how does that make us better? wiser? experienced?
To me, the integral part of my existence is the ability to evolve and continue evolving. To learn, to change, to strive. I survived by suppression, by trying not to change – I didn’t start living, no, thriving, until I allowed myself to grow, to gradually change, and embrace that this is what my humanity means to me.