Category: HRT Adventures
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One Year Post Burn
It’s been almost exactly a year since returning from Burning Man. I learned a lot about myself in Black Rock City. I learned that I’m strong, capable, and so very very very trans. I had felt reserved about being more masculine for some time before becoming one with the playa last summer. I had been…
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Avocado Toast
It’s 12:30am on Thursday. My body has decided hot flashes every 10 minutes is a Fun Thing To Do, so I’m awake. I haven’t written here since the end of March. I’m currently waiting for hopefully the last edit of a hyperlapse for YIMBYtown – the housing conference & unconference in July that East Bay…
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Hiatus
You may have noticed that I really haven’t been able to do much of anything for several weeks at this point. My brain checked out two weeks ago thanks to burnout and I’m only slowly getting it back. It’s really frustrating because the world is still going to shit, I just am powerless to do…
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On Kindness and Transphobia [TW]
Someone from my past emailed me a few times this week. Claiming they were good listeners and wanted to have a relationship, “one soul to another”. They then sent two emails following that, The first, on valentine’s day, defending my parents by saying they were merely imperfect and I’m overreacting about the abuse I suffered at their…
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To Do List
Shit I need to do today: news interview testosterone shot – make sure PCP knows which dose is correct, also, now that insurance exists, belated bloodwork, figure out how much anxiety is the lower dose of bupropion vs fascism keeping me awake at night, also make sure she fixes the script for syringes get in…
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Birthday Feels/Survival Anxiety
Holy shit. In light of everything else happening, like fascism, it seems silly that the thing plaguing my mind would be my birthday. On one hand I feel like I shouldn’t even bother celebrating something so frivolous because, fascism. On the other, I have this unshakeable feeling that we might be in nuclear fallout by…
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Holy Shit 2k16
Guess I’ll just start off with a list of Things I’ve Done this year and then talk about how I feel about them/the world in general, because holy fuck 2016. This time last year I’d just enrolled at North Seattle and was starting ABE where I learned I’m actually good at math and I learn…
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This Week in Trans
Apparently cooking is a skill I default to. I can run? Melons taste good? I still dislike olives. All my feelings live in my belly. Everything is pain because my muscles are moving around so much. I am always hungry. And horny…and horniness feels different now? it comes from a different place so I don’t…
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Eating Disorder
I never thought I had an eating disorder until this week. I thought maybe my relationship to food was not ideal but probably normal. I thought eating disorders had more to do with some personal needs being met with regards to food, like purity culture, society’s insistence on thinness, or coping with life. I didn’t…
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This Is Not Normal
I’m beginning to get anxious now that more than a month has passed since the fall of our republic election and things have started to quiet down. We’re normalizing. We desperately want to return to normal, to stability, not to whatever the fuck this reality is. Collectively we do not do well with unrest, we…