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To Do List
Shit I need to do today: news interview testosterone shot – make sure PCP knows which dose is correct, also, now that insurance exists, belated bloodwork, figure out how much anxiety is the lower dose of bupropion vs fascism keeping me awake at night, also make sure she fixes the script for syringes get in…
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Birthday Feels/Survival Anxiety
Holy shit. In light of everything else happening, like fascism, it seems silly that the thing plaguing my mind would be my birthday. On one hand I feel like I shouldn’t even bother celebrating something so frivolous because, fascism. On the other, I have this unshakeable feeling that we might be in nuclear fallout by…
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It me, a trans boi
I didn’t know I was trans until my mid 20’s. I didn’t have the language or the context to explain what I felt growing up. My writing over the last 8 years has actually thoroughly documented parts of that process. Coming to terms with my gender and what that means to me. I spent my…
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CDMX 2016
I lived in Mexico City for two weeks and it was fantastic. I managed to get around successfully (with help) in a country with a language I barely spoke, and watched Fireworks on New Years. Made a lot of pupper friends, learned a lot of things, and admired a lot of art. Now there are pictures.
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Holy Shit 2k16
Guess I’ll just start off with a list of Things I’ve Done this year and then talk about how I feel about them/the world in general, because holy fuck 2016. This time last year I’d just enrolled at North Seattle and was starting ABE where I learned I’m actually good at math and I learn…
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This Week in Trans
Apparently cooking is a skill I default to. I can run? Melons taste good? I still dislike olives. All my feelings live in my belly. Everything is pain because my muscles are moving around so much. I am always hungry. And horny…and horniness feels different now? it comes from a different place so I don’t…
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Eating Disorder
I never thought I had an eating disorder until this week. I thought maybe my relationship to food was not ideal but probably normal. I thought eating disorders had more to do with some personal needs being met with regards to food, like purity culture, society’s insistence on thinness, or coping with life. I didn’t…
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This Is Not Normal
I’m beginning to get anxious now that more than a month has passed since the fall of our republic election and things have started to quiet down. We’re normalizing. We desperately want to return to normal, to stability, not to whatever the fuck this reality is. Collectively we do not do well with unrest, we…
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Kieryn Starts T
Yesterday. Yesterday I went to the wellness clinic in SF that does HRT and primary care on a sliding scale for uninsured people and I started my first dose of Testosterone. HOLY SHIT. Immediately prior to that I got my hair cut, and turns out I’m a super fucking cute boi. As I was walking…
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Expecto Patronum
I was talking to my therapist last night about the election and activism and something she poked at really struck me. It is important for activism to come from a place that isn’t fear. Fear and panic spreads like wildfire and runs everyone down. The longevity of the fight depends on us being able to…