Monthly Archives: May 2010

16 posts

One Year

One year ago – May 30th, 2009, my best friend and I promised to love and cherish each other for the rest of our lives. To stick with each other no matter what and take care of each other the best that we can.
More than that though, we embarked on a journey. Every day, every month, and every year contains a new step, new adventures, and new things to learn. Each year brings us additional opportunities to grow, and well, despite the cheesiness –  fall even more in love (yes, we’re still mushy).
This isn’t to say there aren’t challenges, or aren’t going to be challenges. Actually this year was filled with challenges. Sometimes it was like two nations merging and as you can imagine that can be rough at times. Transitioning is hard work (I don’t like to put cheese in my eggs *before* I cook them, thank you.) but it’s healthy.
Throughout all the challenges of this year – joining nations, having different opinions on how eggs should be cooked and developing as a couple – we’ve grown closer, deeper, and stronger. I’m so happy to be able to spend the rest of my journey (our journey) with my bestest friend. Alex is so supportive and kind and loving, he takes care of me and makes me feel safe. He keeps me stocked with chocolate and hugs and listens when I need to talk. He’s a great man, fantastic husband, and amazing friend.
In lieu of the weekly vlog and in celebration of our anniversary, I’ve posted some videos of our wedding last year:

If you can't beat 'em

I was thinking about what I might have said to that if I were 15 again. I probably would have said something like “if you can’t beat ’em, you can’t beat ’em”. Actually I said a lot of things when I was 13, 14, 15, even 16. Things that I don’t necessarily agree with or should have said differently. So I was thinking about that today, and all the things I was involved in – Regenerate Our Culture, TeenPact, NCFCA, Homeschooling, The Rebelution – and I realized that I’m not the embodiment of those causes anymore. It’s not that I didn’t believe it all at the time, or that I was pretending, but that years later I’ve grown and now I find myself in a different mindset and way of thinking.
I’m realizing a lot of things I believed because I did, because someone said it was so, because I was taught. Now I’m becoming an individual, my own person –  and questioning, learning, and finding out what I believe for myself, not because someone said to. I’ve realized that where I stand now doesn’t line up with where I stood when I was 15, and that’s not a bad thing! I’m not off the deep end or abandoning all values, but I am re-evaluating and coming to my own conclusions.
These conclusions are different than they would have been if I were 15, but I’m not 15, I’m in a whole different part of life, I understand more and have a little bit more perspective (I hope). I also reserve the right, 4 years from now, to come back and recant and apologize for things I was wrong about. I want to grow continually and learn, not be stuck somewhere so hard I never budge even if I’m wrong or if “my party left me”. My identity is not the embodiment of a cause, number of causes, or a political movement.

Little Boy's Dreams

When my brother was little he played little-league baseball and loved it. In fact the reason that I appreciate baseball today is just because of the years he was in little league with my dad coaching his team and the times we would try to play catch outside. So these two additions to my Dream series are sort of a tribute to my brother.

New! (hat and shop)

You remember the hat I made a while back?  Well, on Tuesday I decided to make another one!

I ran out of black (had way less than I thought) so I used red to finish it off and I think it turned out pretty good. I like pairing it with a red trench and black nail polish.
In other exciting news, I opened a new store! I just wanted to try it out, but I actually sold a print (which I will be shipping out tomorrow). I also learned that CVS charges *alot* for 8×10 prints, I think I need to buy myself a scanner and use shutterfly or some online printing-pick-up-at-walmart service.