This is going to be all disjointed and rambly.
I’m feelsy and tired. Things are good and scary and new.
I can take ABE courses again this fall, which is helping my brain in a lot of ways. I feel like I sort of have some semblance of a direction now, instead of a confused puddle.
I’ve sent out more job applications than I can count, trying to make art on the regular because it keeps me sane. Feeling lost on E.R.A. – I’m not a huge fan of my current set up for it, and Manga Studio 5 on my new macbook is hard to adjust to. I’ve been using MS5 on my Surface lately, so maybe I’ll switch to that for now. But deeper than that, I’ve been lacking the motivation and energy to continue writing. Depression induced apathy really sucks, and as much as I need E.R.A. to exist, I need to be in the headspace for it to make it what I need it to be. It’s hard to muster up the energy to do that when you’re calling it a win if you get out of the apartment this week.
I want to write more code than I’ve had the energy to (read: any). This all piles up and I feel like a failure of a human being.
But I’m going to get there, I’m going to be okay.
This month I’m making it a goal to get out on my own for a few hours a few times a week and explore in between life & adulting. I bought my own copy of Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain and I want to go through that again. And fucking code. for the love of god please let me code, brain. I’m doing 30 in 30 again, and these are all really good things.
I’m going to make it.