Feels: College wk 1

First week of school was sort of a whir. Hard but good….looking at essays as intensely as we have has sometimes been really hard to handle emotionally, and in a way I wasn’t — am not — prepared for. I love doing school and being in that environment and I want to be actively involved on campus because it makes me feel alive and I feel like I’m putting real roots down for the first time.

 

I feel vulnerable and alive and terrified and magical.

 

I have so many ideas on how I could improve the information dispersal of student life on campus and advocate for more gender neutral bathrooms and make it more of an obviously safe LGBT space.

 

I’m getting tired of repeating my story, as important as it is, it’s draining, and yet colors everything. It comes up in class and in ice breakers and I don’t want to bury it because it’s me, but…..it’s exhausting.

 

It’s important to understand (me) but draining to repeat (over and over again).

 

I’ve had a really hard mental health day today – sort of being overwhelmed from the first week of school and figuring out how the fuck it works, making decisions for my educational and financial future (applying to student leadership ftw) and not really having had time to process everything that I’m feeling.

 

The feeling of being in control of everything and nothing simultaneously. Taking charge and not knowing the next step.

What is my life even.

 

It’s good, but it’s terrifying, and I want it to continue, but I can’t do it myself.

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