Undo.

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Sometimes I wish for an undo button, not because of regret but because I’m afraid. I applied to a job doing IT support and now I’m anxious about it. What if they hire me? (Like I’m not the one with ultimate say?) How will my life change? 

Before applying it seemed like getting a job would be a good way to get myself out of my apartment (and make money) but in a way that’s maybe easier than all the MeetUps I talk myself out of? But now I’m nervous. 

What if I suck? What if I’m just harassed because I don’t look like an IT Person (TM)?

Change – even theoretical change is scary. Change that involves leaving my apartment and interacting with other humans is terrifying. I wish it wasn’t. 

But when I write it out, these are all factors I can control for, and when I remember I have agency, a job offer isn’t so scary. 

Strangers on the other hand…

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