Stress Sickness

I’ve been feeling sick – off and on for the last two weeks. The worst days are mondays and I’ve been starting to worry about why I’ve felt so on the verge of catching something, without actually coming down with it. I’ve been able to pinpoint some of the symptoms – headaches and fuzziness largely due to the air pressure change and lack of sun – but the general sick feeling that’s just been hanging around? I think it’s stress.
I’ve never dealt with stress well, and my body’s way of dealing with it worse. I internalize until I can either deal with it, or I start to meltdown. Usually I end up getting to meltdown before dealing with it, but sometimes I can manage to avert a full on meltdown, but then I end up feeling sick. Legitimately sick. It’s weird, because taking a mental inventory of my body, I know there’s nothing actually wrong, but at the same time, I don’t feel like taking the risk of actually having a bug and overexerting myself. I have no energy, I ache all over, my head hurts, I’m queasy, and sensitive to touch and sound.
There’s no reason other than my brain, but it’s not something you can just ignore when it’s so incredibly physical. The problem arises when the reasons for this have building up for months and the feeling of stress has dissipated into a feeling of sick and then I start stressing about why I’m sick and it’s just this never ending spiral, until one day, finally, there’s a breakthrough (or sunlight) and I’m okay.
I’m tired of being sick from stress, but I don’t know how to fix it. I feel lame, because I feel like I should be able to just “snap out of it” but it’s so close to depression for me that I can’t just “snap out of it” and be okay. Instead I end up bedridden because my body can’t cope.
Or it could just be a weird cold.
Right now, soup and tea are in order while I take care of myself. I think I have some ideas now.

Comments

  1. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    I have been there before…some days I feel like I am back there. <3 Hang in there…and take care of yourself, physically and psychologically. I found that doing simple things I enjoyed would help to ease the tension and physical distress my body was feeling. The mind-body connection is very interesting…

    1. Kierstyn King Avatar

      <3 art is like that for me – the challenge is doing it when I don’t have the energy to get the supplies out.

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