Monthly Archives: March 2011

17 posts

Trying New Things

I’ve been feeling discouraged lately, I want to be able to contribute to living and stuff financially because I think it’d be nice (even though it’s not totally necessary), but the winter messes with my health (ALOT)  and there are times when I spend days just unable to do much, or feeling so bad that it takes most of what I can muster to get out of bed in the morning which makes me seriously doubt my job-getting ability, not to mention that I’ve never learned how to turn off my work mode which leads to me being generally miserable after a while and I’m not really sure how to fix it. But still, I want to contribute because I feel like I can, and should, and just, want to.
On top of that, I feel like my time is valuable, because I could be developing my skills (on days when I feel half decent) as opposed to working a minimum wage job that gives no benefit to me except a paycheck and a long time on my toes. So, if I were to become employed, I would want to find a place that makes me want to work there – something that benefits me in more ways than a couple-hundred-dollar check every so often. Which, is amazingly hard to find. So I continue to paint and clean and hang out and try and sell my original paintings in a market I’m having a hard time locating and for prices that most people in my personal circle would have to save for (<insert blame economy>) even though it’s low/mid range pricing for art in general.
Yesterday was a weird day. I had too many things racing through my head, like trying to keep up with a train – eventually I just gave up and sat there, unable to do anything really and watched the thoughts and ideas whizz by hoping that eventually one would slow down long enough for me to grab onto. This didn’t happen until late at night when I finally decided to pursue a bit of inspiration that I managed to be able to concentrate on. I remembered reading about an artist on Zazzle – selling prints of his work on random affordable things (and also selling the originals elsewhere for what they’re worth) so his art becomes known and accessible to people who otherwise couldn’t afford an expensive piece of art. I realized the brilliantness of this, and last night that’s what I spent the evening doing. By about 1am, I created this:

Shop for a personalized gift at Zazzle.
Buttons, stickers, stationary, mouse pad, iOS cases, cups, posters (well one so far, apparently it’s hard to batch-make those), basically everything except clothes/bags (because I tried it and it looked really bad). For well, less than the originals on etsy. So this is my endeavor – I’m trying something new, and hope it goes over well – I know lots of people like my designs (at least that’s what they tell me) so maybe now it won’t be so hard to get (and if anyone has requests….let me know). At the moment, I’m pleased, and feel less like I’m just stuck failing and don’t know what I’m doing (I try so hard).


The last few days I haven’t been feeling really great, and so I’ve been sleeping most of the day and awake most of the night. Wanting to paint (or even clean) but not having enough energy. Tonight though, I started feeling a little better – Alex cleaned the house for me before I told him to go catch a movie and I would just kinda hang out and relax (and he would bring me donuts from Tim Hortons). I have all this pent up creative energy, but I can’t actually do anything with it on canvas. So I decided to play with my wacom tablet. I think I finally have it down – it’s a little hard to get used to sometimes, when you’re used to giant canvas or paper and you’re drawing on a 13 inch screen but using a 4×6 pad. Anyway, I decided to play with the concept that I have for one of my paintings and see how that turned out. I just hope I can make it flow like this on the canvas now (I also need to get better brushes…).


So I have this great idea for an art card – a snow at night painting, with a fairy holding a lantern. But it’s too cold, grey, and dark outside for me to paint it (read: I’m too cold and tired). I also have another idea for my last 16×20 canvas…but again with the being super tired thing. Half of me feels like I should just go do it….but the other side of me also knows I haven’t been able to work up enough energy to sweep my floors (thanks winter :P) and should probably just take a nap.
I was hoping to play some WoW today, but it was down (I think it’s back up now) so I finished reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets instead. I bought it while I was in Oregon, because I wanted to read something lighter than Orwell. It feels really good to read (and finish) a book again. I didn’t realize how much I missed it – or how long it’d actually been since I read a story.  Now, I can go to the library and get the rest of the series. For some reason they were always out of book #2. It’s funny, I used to eat books up when I was in school, and so did my husband, but now we don’t anymore – we read lots of things online, or get books for information, like Act or Die, but as far as sitting down and reading a story, that doesn’t happen much. Actually, it mostly happens on our iOS devices while waiting in line for a movie showing. Go figure.
I’d like spring to come now, cold and grey and snow for another week just sounds horribly unpleasant.


Today was a cold and gloomy (and SNOWY) day so I decided to paint something bright warm instead. It didn’t go the direction I had originally intended but I’m pleased with how it came out. I spend the bulk of my time on the background, several layers of red to make it appear more solid – most of the backgrounds on my other paintings are relatively faded, most of that is intentional.


She’s a compassionate fairy, and wants no more than to set things free and keep them safe – where they can thrive and live and be. She works hard and gives her all even when the odds seem impossible. (Acrylic 16×20)

Art and Emotion

Today I was legitimately happy – the air was warm(er than it has been) the sun was out, I was able to walk with little need for my coat and I felt like doing something creative and new. At first I wanted to do something with a book, but then Alex reminded me that we have a dictionary in pieces – as I started getting things out I remembered other things that I had – stickers, paint, markers, glitter, glue sticks. 2 hours, some leg cramps and realizing I really need a desk later, I made this:

I didn’t really have a goal in mind, I was just making something that felt peaceful and inspiring – if it’s possible to paint using your emotions in lieu of your eyes, that’s what this is.

Fire, rain, and sleepy Kiery

When the alarms went off it was raining outside and dark in the room – perfect combination for sleeping in, so I did…until I started hearing sirens. At first I thought there was just an alarm going off at Starbucks and they sent a truck, as always to check it out (almost always false alarms) but then it got louder and closer. A few minutes later, more sirens, and it sounded like they were going down our street – they were. Apparently there was something going on at the school. I woke up, looked out the window – still rainy, couldn’t see any smoke, we opened the window in the kitchen and heard radio voices – and everyone was leaving the school. When I went outside on a walk, I noticed the air did smell a little smokey. I still don’t know what happened, just that I woke up from loud noises and then hoped it wouldn’t come over here (it didn’t).
So, I was grumpy, because I was tired and I decided to take it out in WoW. Mostly because I haven’t played in a while, and killing Lake Spirits for Motes of Water sounded like a good way to blow off some steam. The one problem with working the Master of Transmutation quest in Nagrand (because I’ve been wanting to quest there for a while) is that I’m 5 levels above everything – which is great for not dying, but not so hot on filling up the 3 bars I have left before I hit level 71 and get another talent point. Although, technically it’s for levels 64-70. I think the reason I waited so long was because I was flying over once at level 62 or so, and got caught by one of the guarded pvp areas with a level 72 something, which made me think I needed to wait longer than I did. Anyway, I *know* Nagrand has all the mats I need because I’ve seen all the elements there, but after I finish the other quests  I have, I think I’ll hit Shadowmoon Valley so I can get the Explore Outland achievement before moving onto Northrend.

Building Wings on the Way Down (Act or Die)

I finished Act or Die today and the biggest lesson I learned (aside from great tips and exercises that I’m willing to put to use to get to know *myself* not just for acting) was don’t act, BE. Be present in the moment, as the character – feel, act on your internal impulses – listen to yourself and yourself as the character. Never stop thinking and feeling, allow yourself to be and access all parts of you and don’t judge. Listening isn’t about waiting for cues and springing into action, it’s about feeling and thinking as the character and being present in that moment, and the moments before and after your lines.
At the end, the author closed with this thought:

“As civilians we choose to function the best way we can within society’s ground-rules. As an actor we unprotect and reveal to the extremities of a character’s potential (positive or negative). As an actor we must live dangerously in our own work, be naked inside, be willing to leap off a cliff and build our wings on the way down.”

It kind of aptly sums up everything he wrote in his perfectly sized 149 page book (awesome, because thick books are daunting and take too long to read. Half the reason I never finished LOTR). I’d definitely suggest it to anyone looking to act, write, or direct – I definitely have a lot to think about with writing characters and my own (lacking) acting skills.

Ethereal Fairy art Card

I’ve been feeling bad because I haven’t been able to paint due to being sick, so finally tonight, I decided I’d make an art card – a small, less detailed version of the one I’ve been mulling over in my head. I’m pretty proud of it, I think the 8×10 version will be much better though…

Still, it felt really good to paint again, for the first time in way too long.