Often times I find myself feeling like a little kid overwhelmed in a great big world – I don’t think my height helps. I realized lately that more often than not I’ve been living in fear. It’s paralyzing, it’s cowardly, and it’s no fun to live in. I’ve had it with living in fear of what people will think of my thoughts, opinions, and decisions.
Oddly enough, I’ve been living the way I absolutely hate, caged up and ineffective because I’m too scared to be seen as who I really am, to be unaccepted. This isn’t anything new either, I’ve had to cross this bridge time and time again for different reasons and different decisions – yet this time, it’s all me. I’ve been to scared to simply stand up for myself and do anything really – I put on this front that really isn’t me…it’s just the scared appeasing version of myself. I’m a people pleaser, but there are people I just can’t please and it’s time for me to get over it and move on. Again.
I’m very blessed that I have a husband who is there to listen, love, accept, understand and help me in this process…actually, he’s the one who made me realize that I could change it. I love him for that – he’s always been that way, he takes my problems and shows me that I can actually fix them. As far as I’m concerned – as long as I can please God and my husband, I’m good – and I know that I can do that.
(I love you Alex!)